No one wants to be pregnant forever. Trust me. At 40 weeks pregnant, having been pregnant since last summer and coming into spring, it feels like forever. And forever, at 40 weeks pregnant, feels heavy and uncomfortable.
As I woke up at 4AM, and faced the obstacle of rolling over from one side to the other in bed, I thought “This is almost done.” That knowledge was so refreshing. Of course, I know what I’m facing. Along with the joy of having this baby, comes many sleepless nights, crying, and poopy diapers. But I don’t care.
I don’t care in a sweet way -I’m so excited! I know the blessing a child is. I also don’t care in a very non-nostalgic way. I just want to not be pregnant. It hasn’t been a bad pregnancy, better than a lot of other women’s, but still I could not do this forever without the end in sight.
This thought at 4AM kept me up, full of excitement. Not for the baby -though that’s part of it- but because I couldn’t separate that thought from the spiritual side of things, from the goals-and-dreams side of things.
God has planted dreams in us, impregnated our hearts and thoughts with visions and hopes for the future. He then lets us know that we won’t be pregnant with those dreams forever -even if it feels like it. I know it’s just a snippet, just a part of a verse in Isaiah, but I’ve always loved this question that God asks His people, “‘Shall I bring to the point of birth and not give delivery?’ says the Lord.” (Isaiah 66:9a)
He doesn’t fill us with dreams and hopes, just to leave them in us unbirthed. (Yeah, I’m pretty sure unbirthed is not a word.) There is a time needed for growth and preparation. If I gave birth too soon -like when I first found out about it- the baby wouldn’t survive. Timing is everything. No one knows the perfect timing better than God.
I once heard someone say that the gestational period for an elephant is two years. That seemed all-out-nuts to me, so I looked it up, and it’s true! TWO years! The speaker’s point (to paraphrase) was that elephants are huge! Sometimes the bigger the dream, the longer the waiting period.
Don’t give up hope on your dream. Keep that goal in mind. If God is preparing you, and you feel like it’s something big, don’t stop hoping or preparing for it just because it feels like it’s been a long time.
When I found out I was pregnant last summer, this day, this week, this month seemed years away. It felt like forever. But I dreamed for it, planned for it, and hoped for it. It’s now one day away, and I’m so excited to meet this long-awaited baby.
I’m looking forward to the birth of many things God has for me.