Easter had begun to be a tradition with me and my Grandma, and whoever else would be there that year. For many years (since my mom moved to California) this was the time I’d go to Hibbing, decorate eggs, staining my poor fingers for days, eat more than I should, and just generally enjoy the tradition -especially the egg cracking contest, though I’ve never won it in my life. So this Easter, being my first without her, and the anniversary of the last time I saw her alive, was a hard one for me.
I felt like, you know, one of those people. The ones I sympathized with but couldn’t understand. Those people who say, “Holidays are hard for me.” This was a hard one. I had to study for a big test coming up the day school starts (the Nursing Program’s view on spring break seems to be “It gives them more time to study” so I have homework due and two tests upon my return to school).
After church we made an unplanned stop at California Pizza kitchen for lunch. It was really a nice time, just me and Matt chatting and eating good food. Then the studying began. But throughout the day- the week- the month- my Grandma was on my mind.
Now that she’s gone, it has touched every holiday. There wasn’t the annual trip, or phone call, or letter. I think we probably all hit a point when one holiday or another is difficult, and this was mine. I think it will help me appreciate the new traditions we begin with other people. For example, on Saturday we met some friends at Caribou for our first annual Egg Cracking contest (much like the one my Grandparents always had). It was really a lot of fun and I enjoyed being with friends. Knowing loss helps me appreciate what I have all the greater.
But for those of you out there who have those tough holidays, do what you can to make them special. Find people to be with or things to do that make them really meaningful to you (like helping others), and remember that you’re not alone. (I mean that others feel the same way and that God is with you, and He sees and loves you.)
Though it was tinted with sadness, none of the meaning was lost from this holiday and I did have fun -when I wasn’t studying yesterday! I hope you all had a really great Easter!